Monday, July 28, 2014

Three Years Ago : A Beginning. An End.


Three years since I stepped onto Thai soil for the first time.

Three years since I started a new (in many ways) way of life.

- Cool bucket showers in cool weather, and warmer bucket showers in hot weather instead of hot showers in cold weather and cold (if desired) showers in hot (kind of) weather.

- Wearing a long sleeve shirt all day in 80* weather instead of always wearing short sleeves as soon as the thermometer hit 70*.

- Feeling like I belong here instead of being a stranger.

- Eating rice like it's suppose to be eaten (in our minds at least): 2+ times a day. Every day.

- Almost forgetting what it's like to wear sneakers or anything similar.

Those each are attached to memories--good and bad--but they're not the things that really make me sit and ponder what has happened. I'm overwhelmed with emotions of nearly every kind when I think of the bigger, deeper things.

- Learning that when I feel the uttermost helplessness, I am the closest to Strength.

- Being filled by giving what I didn't have because all good things come from One above.

- Discovering that the only thing that pulls my heart toward the other side of the ocean (other than breathtaking mountains) is the same thing that has bound my heart with this place--people.

And let me tell you that each one of those last three things was n.o.t. e.a.s.y. Had you offered me a different road when I was in the heat of battle I probably would have taken it. But from where I stand now, I can thank God that He didn't answer my prayer to send someone else to take my place.
There were times I was more miserable than I can remember ever being in America. But instead of pulling me out of what was making me miserable, He is making me a conqueror of it. 

It's about the end of looking at self and the beginning of seeing through the eyes of Jesus and loving with His love.

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