"Father, why did you call me to do something and allow me to do things that I later regretted?"
"Sometimes I just wish I didn't feel guilty for so long. Why don't you take away those feelings faster?"
"And why are you calling me to do this? I'm bound to make more mistakes?"
My mind glances back over the years, tries to grasp the present, and imagine what the future could hold. I'm overwhelmed. I have failed Him again. . . and again. And many times I thought little of it.
But then there were the times that I just couldn't shrug it off--when conviction was so strong that I couldn't be at peace. Those were the most uncomfortable times, the ones that I first thought I would rather have not gone through.
In retrospect, those are the experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. This human heart doesn't naturally want to change. But in His tender mercy, my Father is willing to endure to pain of watching my heart be broken into His likeness.
I don't see conviction the same way anymore. It's like hearing my Father say, "I'm not just here to tell you that you've failed me--I'm here to change you."
Friends, He never fails to transform those who are willing. I promise.