Then my mind turns to more recent days. I can still see stress--but I don't bear it alone. Tears still flow--yet they are most often shed in love for another. Those fears still knock at my door--but they rarely find it cracked open. No longer do I have so strong a desire to hide in my comfortable home. There are needs all around me, and my greatest joy is found in being a channel through which God can fill them.
Even now a little friend is headed my way. She only needs a bandaid, right? I've discovered differently. Their calls for bandaids are actually a plea for love. When they see that I'm willing to move my tired aching body, put down my computer, and go get the bandaid basket, they're satisfied once more.
But back then I couldn't understand why God was keeping me bound to something that I so much wanted to run away from. I thought I didn't deserve to feel so much pain, endure so much difficulty, shed so many tears. I was right. I still don't deserve the gift that He gave me through these past months. But that is the way of my heavenly Father.
He delights in making undeserved transformations.